Dear God, It's me Crystal

Dear God,

You have blessed me with two seriously beautiful children. I know I am partial, but look at these kids:

They are some seriously good looking children.

Joseph is also blessed with a determined, energetic and persistent personality. This makes parenting him as a toddler both a great joy and an immense challenge.

When I was pregnant with Conrad, I asked that you bless me with an equally wonderful child, one who maybe could also be a slightly easier infant than Joseph was. It seems this was not in your plans. Severe reflux and a potential milk allergy do not make for an easy infant. And persistent, active toddlers do not like hanging around the house waiting for infants with milk allergies to repeat their 2 hour cycle of eating, vomiting, crying/fussing, sleeping for 10 min, then waking up screaming, only to repeat said cycle.

I can only assume that you are continuing to bless me with these challenging infants/toddlers because you have some great reward for me in the future. These children with such strong little personalities will certainly grow into adults with strong personalities. These personalities will help them to achieve great things in life....things that will reward them handsomely monetarily. In return for me dealing with their challenging little personalities as children, they will certainly reward me by letting me live out my retirement in luxury....exotic vacations, a large house with a full staff of help, daily spa treatments.

Certainly this must be your plan. Correct? Please tell me I am making the right assumption because right now there are days where this assumption is the only things that gets me through the day.

Sincerely,

Crystal